A Story about Finding Myself

Hello, friend. Welcome to my musings, a place where I can share my thoughts so that people like myself can actually find me 🙂

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Disclaimer: I in no way intend to disrespect or belittle anyone’s beliefs and expect that no one disrespect or belittle mine. 🙂

So here it is, big confession time. I am not a Christian. I actually do not subscribe to any religion. This fact has been a huge part of my life since I was at least 6 years old.

A little background for you. I was sort of a latch-key child growing up. I went to a school a block away from my house, so when we were “old enough,” my sister and I walked to and from school every day. During the summer, we stayed home a lot. During this time, we walked to our local library, which had to have been more than a mile away. Think Matilda walking to the library. So, I was always drawn to the section of the library that had the books on Wicca. If you don’t know what Wicca is, it’s a pagan, polytheistic, nature-based religion that many call witchcraft. Now, you probably have witchcraft all wrong. Most people do. Witches are not evil. Witches do not consort with the Devil, as Witches don’t even believe in the Devil. Wicca is about nature as the primary Great Being, Source, God, whatever you want to call it.

Now, I went to a Christian school from 1st until 8th grade, and I was really shamed by my friends (and their parents) for even looking into something other than Christianity. But even still, I had great faith in SOMETHING. I even, at one point, wanted to become a youth pastor. But something just didn’t feel right. Christianity did not feel like the true way that I was meant to live and believe.

Finally, around the age of 14, I officially left the Christian faith for something else. This was not an easy thing to do. My parents and I got into many fights, including my dad “kicking me out” at one point. My mother cried for my soul numerous times. She cried around my wedding when I had to remind her that we would not be having a Christian ceremony. To be honest, this has given me a lot of guilt over my life. It has created deep wounds in my heart. But I just cannot live in a way that doesn’t fit my soul or my true nature.

So, what do I believe then?? Well, now that I’m older and know a little more, I wouldn’t say that I am actually Wiccan. It is pretty close to what I believe, but I’d rather say that I am a child of the Universe, a spiritual being, that doesn’t need to define myself so harshly. I believe in the Law of Attraction. I believe that I ultimately co-create my reality with the energy of the Universe. Nature is a huge part of my belief system and I feel most connected to the Divine/Universe when I am surrounded by trees. I believe in the Divine Feminine. I believe in angels. I believe in energy. I believe that love is the most healing and most powerful force in the multiverse and it will definitely save us all. I also believe in science. Science is above all else my higher power. And luckily, all of my other beliefs are backed up by science (quantum physics/mechanics).

And something that many might find odd, but totally fits into my own belief system, I still believe in Jesus and his teachings. He was a great teacher, and I do agree with most of the things he stood for. I just choose to allow him to be one of many of my great teachers.

Now I am not saying you should believe what I believe. I am not asking for you to try and make me believe what you believe. What I am asking is for you to consider who I am as a person and judge me for who I am and not what I believe. All my life I have been rejected (for lack of a better word) for what I believe and what I don’t believe. I am over feeling ashamed or sad. I know that I am meant to be the way I am and that this is how I am meant to make a difference in the world.

I really look forward to sharing my spirituality in this blog, and also sharing about people who have greatly contributed to my spiritual growth. I am still on this journey and I learn more everyday.

Please let me know in the comments if you have shared in my experience in any way; I’d love to hear from you. 🙂

La Rae


4 thoughts on “A Story about Finding Myself

  1. Linda and Rich

    Rich agrees with you. Walk your own path. We definitely believe we are part of the universe. It is great to see you so happy. Keep writing.

  2. Mindy

    Thank you for your honesty, La Rae! I look forward to reading more about your beliefs and views 🙂 I think we could all do with a bit more tolerance in the world. Wouldn’t it be amazing i everyone was allowed to believe whatever they wanted to without infringing on anyone else’s beliefs? Talk about a quick path to peace, that would be amazing. Until then, I tihnk it’s great to share your beliefs in the hope of opening minds a bit more.

    1. La Rae Awakened Post author

      It’s always been difficult for me to talk about my beliefs, but luckily I’m at an age now that I don’t care as much what others think 🙂 I agree, we would definitely have more peace if we all felt free to express our beliefs!

      Thanks for your comment, girlfriend!


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