Author Archives: La Rae Awakened

What if I experience this all by myself?

Have you ever been so taken aback by the beauty of the world that you don’t even know how to process it? I feel this way often when I’m in nature. I love how my favorite spots are different throughout the seasons, how plants are different, water is different, light is different. There is this joy I feel in my bones because I’m alive and able to witness this beauty, and sometimes I just can’t keep that joy to myself.

I feel like it’s harder to keep these beautiful moments to myself than it is to share them with the world.

When I’m about to pull out my phone to document something wondrous, I think to myself…What if I experience this all by myself? What if I give myself the gift of having this moment with nature and never telling anyone about it? What if I have this beautiful moment that moves me in such a profound way, but I don’t share it with anyone?

Sometimes I feel like a moment is only good if it is witnessed by someone else as well, or if I share it with others. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by having to share these beautiful moments on Facebook or Instagram, but then when I don’t, I’m in so much bliss that I’m not sure it’s real.

Before cell phones, before social media, before digital cameras, people just experienced things. And maybe they painted them, or they wrote about them, which might seem like the same thing, but it’s not. It’s having an emotional relationship with that awe-inspiring thing.

This is totally a random musing, but sometimes I worry that I’m just living my life to put it on social media, and I don’t want to live that way. At least, not all the time.

So the next time I have a profoundly heart-filling moment with nature, perhaps I will write a poem, perhaps I will paint it, perhaps I will simply breathe it in. And I hope you live a life that fills you up this way. <3


La Rae

Sacred Sensuality, Month 1

One month into the year of Sacred Sensuality, and it hasn’t exactly started out the way I had imagined.

So far, there has been a lot of grief.

-I thought I was over my body issues, but they came creeping back in. I listened to the rage and sadness as it bubbled up in my body, and I knew I had to move it through me through dancing. And it worked. I danced the rage out, and it led me back to sensuality.

-I had some pretty intense a-has around my birthday, as my birthday always stirs up sadness. My inner little La Rae had some feelings that hadn’t been acknowledged, and so I let her cry. This a-ha was tugged out of me through this song:

Perhaps you notice that the name of the song is “Open Wide,” and might remember that this is my mantra for 2018. The artist, Broadhurst, is married to Melissa Ambrossini, the author of the book Open Wide, where I got the idea to have this as my mantra.

-I also had a major a-ha around WOLVES. I shared on Instagram how WOLVES have been coming up a lot for me in the past 1.5 years, and I really feel like the wolf is my spirit animal. January’s full moon is called the Wolf Moon, and my birthday is in January, so I decided to look up what date the January 1989 full moon was on. Shockingly enough, I was born on the Wolf Full Moon in January 1989. This feels like an important piece to my story, and it felt amazing to feel so connected to the Moon.

-We lost our beloved dog, Chance. We knew it would be coming, but the day it actually came, we sobbed.

But everything does come back to sensuality. Because your emotions are part of sensuality.

-On a lighter note, I honored myself by having my own boudoir session. My body might not be perfect, but I loved myself through it. These images were taken by Ella Eve Photography in Cedar Falls, Iowa.


-We also started a major remodel of our great room. The previous owners put in this bamboo flooring in JUST the great room. The bedrooms had the original hardwoods, so we decided to remove the flooring and refinish the hardwoods.

Here is the bamboo flooring:

And here is the flooring underneath, prior to sanding:

And here is the flooring after being sanded:

We also repainted the walls from Driftwood Gray to Repose Gray by Sherwin Williams. Our great room doesn’t get a lot of direct natural light because the big windows face the north, so we went with something a little warmer and a little lighter. I am in love with this color because it really feels like a warm hug.

We both have been exploring what “home” feels like to us recently, and we knew it was time for a change. My husband Chris is taking an active role in helping make decisions because he, too, wants this house to feel like his home. Compromise isn’t easy, but I want us to both love it for as long as we are here. I will update you all once we get further in the process.

-I have journaled, but not every day.

-I have danced, but not every day.

-I did restorative yoga only once, but still, progress.

-I held my first women’s gathering, which was magical!

-I have taken LOTS of baths and read.

-I have slept in when my body needs it, and have woken up early when my body says rise.

-I have also NOT slept in when I needed it, and suffered.

-I have listened to some amazing podcasts.

-I have had some nourishing girl time.

-I have used my Moon Deck to navigate my month almost every day.

-I have been consciously cleaning and keeping up on housework much more.

-I have been attempting to make positive decisions around money.

And yet, I already feel like I’m failing. Why do we do that to ourselves? Why do we forget all the things we DO and only think about the things we haven’t done? Letting go of perfectionism is HARD. But I keep on keeping on.

So, January had some positive moments, but was actually really hard. Praying that February will bring joy, lightness, playfulness, and delight!


La Rae

January 2018 New Moon Gathering Info | Grundy Center, Iowa

Hey all!

This year I decided to host some New + Full Moon events in the Grundy Center, Waterloo/Cedar Falls Iowa area!

Our first one is a New Moon Gathering on January 16th at 5:30 at 319 Decor+Design, 711 G. Ave, Grundy Center, IA, 50638. Cost to attend is $15 and tickets must be purchased before the event! We are requiring a minimum of 3 participants and a maximum of 10.

Depending upon how many participants there are, the New Moon Gathering will last from 30-90 minutes. I will tell you about basic lunar cycles, there will be a short intention ceremony, and an opportunity to share your intentions for 2018 and also for the months of January + February.

You do not have to be of any particular religion to attend, but I ask that you come with an open mind and an open heart. The New Moon Gathering is a great way to learn about earth-based spirituality and come together with a group of like-minded sisters.

The next event will be a Full Moon Gathering on Thursday, March 1, 2018 at 5:30, location to be determined.

If you have any questions, please send us a message via Facebook!


La Rae

2018 – Intentions + My Word of the Year


I have a feeling that this year is going to be the best yet.

My vision for 2018 to be juicy, magical, sacred, sensual.

If there is one thing I’ve learned in 2017, it’s that habits and practices are an integral part of creating the life of your dreams. In order for 2018 to be all the things I listed, I am going to have to alter my daily routines. That’s why I’m so thankful that I learned about being an Obliger, which is one of the Four Tendencies determined by author Gretchen Rubin. This is the perfect example of why learning about yourself is so powerful; once you learn about your behavior, habits, and beliefs, you can begin to make positive change.

Before I divulge my word for 2018, I have to talk about the #1 thing I need to do in order to make space in my life FOR my word of the year, and that thing is SYSTEMS. I need to put SYSTEMS in place so that I create clearly defined boundaries in my life. Becoming my own boss has been the best thing in the WORLD, BUT it also makes me feel like I need to work all.of.the.time. Most of the time, I feel like a slave to my laptop, but because of how well I have gotten to know my energy in 2017, I am off to a good start on putting things in place so my little wild soul can run free. This is a HUGE intention for 2018, and I know that this is going to make such a difference for me and my family.

Soooooooo what is my word for 2018? Last year I choose 2 words, and this year I am choosing a phrase!

2018 will be the year of Sacred Sensuality.

What does sacred sensuality mean?

My yoni

My power










Healing my sacral chakra


Honing my psychic abilities

Restorative yoga


Social media fasting


Creative expression




Breath work

Don’t all of those things feel soooo good? Mmmmmm.

This year, I have also been called to have a “Mantra of the year,” which came to me when listening to Susana Frioni’s podcast Love, Sex, Desire, where author Melissa Ambrosini was the guest….

My mantra of 2018 is – OPEN WIDE – 

What does OPEN WIDE mean?

It means expanding instead of contracting

Being open to possibilities

Opening my heart

Opening my eyes

Opening my yoni

Saying yes, but more importantly, saying NO to things that aren’t in alignment.

It is about courage and trust and nourish and receive 😉

Sacred sensuality is going to require from me that which I’ve never really been good at, but I am so excited about this challenge.

What will your word of the year be?


La Rae

Woman, Your Power is Between Your Legs

I am an old soul.

This has been apparent to me all of my life largely because I have never fit in.

When I was in school, I had a very high reading comprehension. There was a program in our school called Accelerated Reader (AR), where you had a numerical reading level based on a test you took, and you had to reach a certain level of points (read a certain number of books) for the semester. I always had a high number, which meant I had to either read a LOT of books, or read advanced books.

I remember reading one book about Madam CJ Walker, the first African American millionaire. In that book, there was a quote that said something along the lines of

“A woman’s power is between her legs.”

Being a relatively young girl, that quote stuck with me. I thought it meant that our power is sex, and yes, that is part of it. But…

Your womb is the seat of your power.

Your yoni (vagina) is the seat of your power.

Your pleasure is the seat of your power.

There is NO NEED to be ashamed of any of these.

After learning so much about my menstrual cycle this year, I am convinced that a) women’s power has been repressed through sexual shame + the wrong-making of her menstrual cycle (I mean, how often do the men in your life call your bleeding gross, and how many times do we talk shit about having our bleed?) and b) reclaiming our yoni, our cycle, and our pleasure are the path back to our power, our sovereignty.

2017 was the year I started actively paying attention to my yoni again, and my yoni and my womb are going to be the stars of 2018.

When was the last time you paid attention to her?


La Rae

2017 Spiritual Life Savers and Life Changers

2017 was another year of huge transformation for me! Today I want to share with you the most influential and profound resources that guided me and aided me on my spiritual path this year. Spoiler alert: some of them are the same as last year!

Here we gooooooooooo!

  1. Sisterhood.

    One of the most nourishing parts of 2017 was SISTERHOOD. I’ve had a lot of wounds around being friends with women, and I’m also an introvert, so it’s hard for me to make friends.In January, I began participating in a business Mastermind with 3 other business owners, and our group was one of things that helped me leave my job in June. Without my girls, I never would have stayed on track or raised my prices! I owe them so much. They have become my best friends.I also got more involved in The Creative Sisterhood, a monthly membership program with Becca Piastrelli (who is listed below), and I also joined Becca’s Gather program in June. What I learned through Gather and the friendships I made were SO POWERFUL.

    In November, 4 of us goddesses from Gather traveled to Salem, MA to spend a weekend together. This trip was absolute MEDICINE for me. These 3, Sophia, Christine, and Jen, have all given me SO MUCH LOVE, and I honestly cannot thank them enough for everything they have given me the past 6 months. They are some of my favorite people.

    This photo is after I gifted them each a short goddess session:

    Here we are all adorned after our New Moon ceremony:

    And of course, my best friend Alicia, who has been my best friend for almost 5 years, always listens, never judges, holds my heart, and takes such good care of me when I come to visit. LOVE YOU GIRL!

  2. Becca Piastrelli

    Becca is the gal behind The Creative Sisterhood and Gather, and one of the hosts of The Lunar Lab Podcast. Becca was on my list last year as well, and I just keep learning more and more from her. This year, she transitioned her work from being known as “The Dabblist,” to claiming herself in her business. She also transitioned the name of her monthly membership program from being The Dabblist Collective to The Creative Sisterhood.

    Becca is now deepening her roots into ancestral feminine wisdom and sisterhood, and she did so right at a time where I was craving this same thing. I am so thankful to Becca for being my main mentor this year, and for all of her work in the world! Also, every episode of The Lunar Lab is amazing, so just go subscribe.

  3. My menstrual cycle: I am looking forward to diving deeper into this topic in a future post, but for now, I will just say that going off of birth control last year and really paying attention to my menstrual cycle this year has been such deep medicine for me. In May when I made the decision to quit my job, I wrote this post  about how my body was giving me some serious information, and I had to start listening. Well, after this, I REALLY began to pay attention to my cycle, and I have learned A LOT about myself because of it. Again, I will write much more about this in a future post.
  4. Elizabeth DiAlto’s Untame the Wild Soul Woman podcast-

    Elizabeth was ALSO on my list last year, but she produces SO MANY amazing episodes that I am constantly learning.I love so so many of her episodes, including her NEW Sunday Sermons, but here are the episodes that created the most change within my heart this year (Click the images to go to the podcast.)

    This interview with Rachael Maddox is the episode that I listened to the mostly recently and has influenced me in such a profound way that I donated to Rachael’s Kickstarter to self-publish her book, Sex After Trauma. I will be receiving a few more copies of the book than I will need, and plan on doing a giveaway!
    I had heard of Lisa Lister before, but this episode was my first introduction to her work. This episode inspired me so much that I bought her book Witch, which I listed below 🙂

    Anyone else have difficult relationships with their mothers? I do! This is a realm that I’ve been afraid to enter since my last bout of therapy in 2014-2015, but finally had the guts to dive back in once I joined Kate Northrup’s Origin Program (listed below). Bethany Webster had an interview with Kate inside the member area of the program, which was my first introduction to her, and it was very healing for me. This podcast episode with Elizabeth DiAlto is a way to get that information at no cost to you.

  5. Kate Northrup-The Origin Program + The Kate and Mike Show:

    Kate Northrup is someone who I have been following for a WHILE. I read her book, Money, A Love Story, a couple of years ago, and have loved her ever since! Since becoming a mother, Kate’s work has transitioned from teaching women about money to her Origin program, a monthly membership for female entrepreneurs, many of whom are mothers. While I’m not a mom, I knew I could learn a LOT from her, so I joined in May!
    I learned so much from this program, and was introduced to many other amazing women, including Bethany Webster, listed above, who talks about the Mother Wound, Jen Racioppi, who is an astrologer, and Alissa Vitti, Founder of and the MyFlo app. I learned about these gals in the member’s only content of Origin, but Jen + Alissa were interviewed in Kate’s podcast with her husband, The Kate and Mike Show. (Click images to go to episodes)

    I have LOVED learned about astrology, thanks to Jen Racioppi! She makes it digestible and easy to understand.

    Remember how I said I have been learning a lot about my menstrual cycle? Well, listening to Alisa Vitti gave me so much information for this part of my journey. Her MyFlo app is AMAZING for keeping track of your cycle and learning about what you need during each stage. Highly recommend you purchase the app, which I believe is $1.99.

    6. Better than Before by Gretchen Rubin

    I only started listening to this audiobook at the end of the year, but through it I am learning that much more about myself and how I relate to others in the world. In this book, she describes the four tendencies, which she also wrote a book about after (The Four Tendencies). I am an Obliger, and knowing this about myself has made a huge difference. Highly recommend listening! (click photo to purchase book from my affiliate link)

  6. Witch by Lisa Lister

    As stated above, I fell in love with Lisa Lister after hearing her on Elizabeth DiAlto’s Untame the Wild Soul Woman podcast. This year I had a bit of an identity crisis-now that I could finally be who I am without recourse, who the fuck am I? Well, I am a WITCH. This book is soooo informational. Lisa encourages each woman to define witch for herself, and only take into your belief system that which feels good to you. I love all the information in the book, and would highly recommend to any woman who feels called to reclaim her power. (click photo to purchase book from my affiliate link)

  7. Denise Duffield-Thomas

    Denise is another mentor that was also on the list last year, and I’ve written about Denise DT A LOT this year. Money mindset work never really seems to be done!! Thanks to her Money Bootcamp, which is a lifetime membership once your buy the program, I am able to continue participating in the FB group and learning more and more all the time.

It’s amazing how much I have grown this year with the help of these amazing mentors and resources. If you are not in a position to put forth any financial investment right now, start by listening to podcasts. If you are in a position to put forth a small financial investment, I recommend joining either The Creative Sisterhood or the Origin program the next time they open. If you are able to put forth a large financial investment in yourself, join the Gather program or Denise Duffield-Thomas’ Money Bootcamp.

I promise you will NOT be disappointed with any of these options!

I can’t wait to share my 2018 intentions, visions, and my word of the year with you soon!



La Rae

2017 – The Year I Finally Loved Myself

2017 has been an incredibly tender year for me, which is why I actually haven’t written a lot about it.

The extremely important lessons from the past 2 years (year of courage, year of trust) have led me to all of the lessons of this year, which have been so personal, so profound, and so awe-inspiring. I was listening to Elizabeth DiAlto’s Untame the Wild Soul Woman podcast recently, and she and her guest were talking about how once you can write about something, it is no longer tender for you, that you have moved on from the lesson. Honestly, I have been digging SO DEEP recently and uncovering some raw beliefs that I have not been able to fully sort categorize or eloquently share.

And to be honest, much of what I have been feeling + sorting through involves other people and I have wanted to be mindful of how my perspective could affect them. Sometimes it’s best not to share exact details because my side of the story is just that; MY side.

My perspective is MY truth, and it may have looked different to them. I choose to respect the perspectives of those involved in my own story by not sharing specifics.

But, onward.

I deemed 2017 my year of RECEIVE + NOURISH. You can read that post here.

Things I did this year that fit the bill:

  1. Quit working for someone else in order to give myself fully to my photography company.
  2. Started following the Bright Line Eating method of eating.
  3. Unfollowed anything or anyone that made me question my worthiness.
  4. Worked on my money mindset even more/unraveled a lot of negative money beliefs.
  5. Began honoring my needs.
  6. I stop over-consuming the work of others/buying course I wouldn’t give my energy to/made conscious decisions about who I take advice from.
  7. I spent 6 months intensively working with an amazing mentor, Becca Piastrelli, who teaches about sisterhood, honoring ancestry, ancestral ties of working with your hands.
  8. Reclaimed my definition of WITCH and being a witch.
  9. Learned about my menstrual cycle.
  10. Studied my own menstrual cycle.
  11. Fully began to understand how my menstrual cycle affects my entire being.
  12. Listened to/deeply honored my intuition.
  13. Even further, I realized my psychic powers + am beginning to delve deeper to harness them.
  14. Decluttered some pretty major items from my life.
  15. Began honoring my need for beauty/luxury.
  16. Gave up the notion that I can do it all.
  17. Stopped caring that much more what other people think of me, aka, accepted that it’s ok to be myself.
  18. Started making/honoring my boundaries.
  19. I began simply saying “Thank you” to compliments.
  20. As uncomfortable as it made me, I began to let people give me things without feeling like I had to do something for them first/in return. THIS WAS HUGE.
  21. Although I am still no longer a Christian, I have healed my relationship with a lot of Christian principles that I feel are actually Universal principles-things like prayer, forgiveness, devotion, and the sacred.

I’m sure there are so many more things, but this is quite an amazing list.

Through all of these things, I finally began to LOVE MYSELF. Deeply. And unconditionally.

Ways that I have been loving myself:

  1. Eating what my body NEEDS, not what my emotions WANT. This means a lot more vegetables and a lot less pizza. (you can hear more about this here)
  2. Give myself the experiences that my soul needs: going to the movies alone, turned my monthly massage into a bi-weekly massage during my busy season, taking baths, reading, sleeping in when my body needed it, taking a trip to Salem, MA., etc.
  3. When I make a plan, I keep it.
  4. If it’s not a “hell yes!” it’s a “hell no!”
  5. Writing as a way to connect with my soul, my desires, my feelings, and a devotional practice.

Truths I’ve truly understood this year:

  1. Resentment is caused when we don’t respect our boundaries, when we over-give, or when we don’t give ourselves what we need first.
  2. That which is your highest good will also be for the highest good of everyone around you.
  3. You are the ONLY one who can change your life.
  4. It is OK to want what you want, and to need what you need.
  5. Life is like a hallway with endless amounts of doors. You can choose any door.
  6. Fate can only take you so far; your free-will takes you the rest of the way.
  7. If everything you experience and feel is true, then the experiences and feelings of other are also true. Our perspectives all need to be honored.
  8. My womb is the seat of my power.
  9. In order to enjoy my wildness and my freedom, I actually need to put SYSTEMS and BOUNDARIES into place.

I’m not sure if this much happened in 2016, or if perhaps I am just more perceptive of things now. Regardless, it’s been quite the year for me. There were lessons that I wasn’t so great at, namely, communicating with my husband. I am sure this will be a never-ending learning process, but we are getting better at it every year 🙂

WHEW. That’s A LOT to digest, and I’m sure that there will be more posts regarding these things in the future. Now that I have written this post, I feel much less tender + more open. The healing power of writing is amazing 🙂

Looking back at 2017, what did you learn? I can’t wait to hear!


La Rae


Addicted to Healing

Today something happened in me. A friend posted a song by one of my favorite bands when I was young, Evanescence.

It was a song from their new album, so I clicked and listened. It was a beautiful song. So I listened to another new song. Then another. Then another. Then an old song that they re-did played.

And I slowly began feeling really angry and depressed. I felt like I did back when I first would listen to that song. It was a really strange, startling feeling, so I turned it off.

Then I dinked around on YouTube and saw a podcast from a mentor and thought “Hmmm that looks really interesting! I need to listen!”

My craving to listen to this podcast got me thinking about some things……

The point of healing and rehabilitating yourself is to LIVE A FULL and JOYOUS life, whatever that means for you.

Sometimes, and for some people, living a full and joyous life  as described above can be terrifying.

A problem that I have with my love of self-help and my love of learning is that I am not so great at practicing. The hard thing about self-help and learning is that eventually, you have learned all you can about a subject and then you have to face that you will actually have to finally put what you learned into practice.

Sometimes, healing becomes an addiction. We become enthralled with the healing process because we are afraid of BEING HEALED. Of finally not needing healing anymore. Because we are actually now scared of LIVING.

It’s hard to get out of a healing addiction, because on the outside, it looks productive.  Reading books, journaling, crying it out, dealing with our demons, listening to podcasts, etc. But once we’ve hit a certain threshold, it’s no longer productive. It’s just the same devil, different mask. We are just using it as a crutch.

So today, I was transported back to how it felt before I began my healing journey, which made me feel awful. But something jolted me back into the reality of how far I have come. And it reminded me that I really need to start living that full, joyous life that I have been working so hard for.

Is this you? Do you do this like I do?

If so, this week, I’m going to give you a little assignment. GO OUT AND LIVE. What is something that you’ve been meaning to do, but haven’t? Go do it. How can you take care of yourself? What have you been denying yourself? Do it.

Breathe a sigh of relief knowing that you have come so far, and it has paid off. Don’t forget that your big, beautiful life is waiting for you to live it.

Sending you so much love this week <3


La Rae

(pc: Nicole Harnois Photography 2015)

WE are the holiday.

Happy Samhain, Witches!

Today I want to talk about a sadness I get on every holiday. I guess it is more of a disappointment, but this of course turns into sadness.

It has something to do with my need for MAGIC that I talked about in a previous blog post here. If you’re interested in how my money mindset has negatively affected my spirituality, go ahead and read that post. If you have a feeling in your gut that this may be the case for you as well, DEFINITELY go and read that post.

Every October, I spend the whole month doing things I love: watching spooky movies, listening to spooky music, feeling like the magical witch that I am. I have always had an affinity for darkness, having battled depression basically my whole life. I grew up wanting to be a demonologist and have seen ghosts. Being a witch is just who I am.

So Samhain (Halloween) is of course my favorite holiday because I love everything about it, and I love that it allows me to be who I am.

But when you hype things up, do they ever go as you want?

I am married to someone who doesn’t really care about holidays, least of all Halloween. He doesn’t care about scary movies, he doesn’t believe in ghosts, he doesn’t care about haunted places. Which is really hard for me, because I don’t have many people to share in my love of the darkness and this beautiful holiday.

So every year, I get all amped up. I tell myself that I am going to allow myself to do whatever my little heart desires on MY HOLIDAY.

And then for some reason, the money mindset I was indoctrinated with as a child gets in the way of my holy day.

You see, the money mindset that I am not allowed to have anything EXTRA has permeated my whole life. So as much as I LOVE Samhain, I don’t really allow myself to go overboard. I haven’t purchased new Samhain decor for YEARS, it took me forever to spend more than $4 on pumpkins (up to $25 for all of my pumpkin decor), this year was the first year I spent a lot of money on my costume, but most of all, I don’t really allow myself the EXPERIENCE that I want. I want to spend time in nature, communing with nature and with spirits. I want to have a traditional dumb supper, which I have only done once before. I want to FEEL like a witch on Samhain, not just treat it like any other day, because it’s not.

Samhain is a holy day that honors the dead. It is the day of the year where the veils between the worlds are the thinnest, which is how all the Halloween hulabaloo got started. We dress up and carve pumpkins to scare away spirits, and of course, pranks. That’s where the phrase “Trick or treat” comes from- you give us a treat or we pull a trick!

It’s so very wonderful, isn’t it?!

For all these years, I have been waiting for someone to join me on my path in order to allow myself to actually live it. I have been waiting for someone to give me permission, maybe, to throw myself into the joy I feel on my holy days.

But WE are the holiday. The day is holy because of US. Because we are here to experience it. Because we are here to give it meaning.

So I am giving you the permission YOU need to throw yourself into the things you love. If Samhain is YOUR favorite holy day, like mine, I give you permission to celebrate! If it’s Yule, or Ostara, or Beltaine, I give you permission to celebrate!!


It’s time to start acting like it, witches.


La Rae

Your re-birth doula

All images in this post are the work of Jenni Chung Photography

How My Money Mindset Kept Me From My Spirituality

As you may know, I am a lover of all things self-help/spiritual growth. I’ve been a part of MANY programs that have all helped me along my own path of growth. And TWO of those programs/memberships aided in this week’s aha that I am going to share with you 🙂

I have been a part of Denise Duffield-Thomas’ Money Bootcamp for about 18 months.

I’ve been doing the course at my own pace, of course, and I learn more about myself all the time. Recently I uncovered a money memory around my mom and her own money blocks. When I Was growing up, anything EXTRA was a luxury. My mom would often buy off-brand items at the store, we wore lots of hand-me-downs, etc, etc. She would get SO MAD when my dad would buy name-brand items, or anything that was EXTRA. Even when she was shopping for her dress to wear to my wedding, she bought a $15 dress just because it was cheap; she didn’t buy what she really wanted, she bought something she thought was affordable.

Uncovering this money memory and money block was HUGE to me because I realized how much I was doing that too. I have so many memories about how I would put nail polish in my shopping cart, and even though it was cheap, I would put it back before I went to the checkout line because I didn’t NEED it.

I’ve done this so many times in my life. Even if I really wanted something, if it wasn’t a NEED, I wouldn’t typically buy the item.

Another group I’ve been a part of for the same amount of time is The Creative Sisterhood with my amazing mentor Becca Piastrelli .

This is an amazing group of women who believe in the healing power of sisterhood and creating with our hands. Every month we receive a creative guidebook with a ritual/craft for the month and some journal prompts. For September 2017, our theme was Harvest and our creative project was an abundance broom.

I must admit, I love being a part of this group, but I’ve never actually DONE THE CREATIVE PROJECTS!!! How weird? I couldn’t place my finger on WHY, but I just never did. September’s project though is definitely something I could get behind. Abundance is the name of the game in my book, and I love doing things that attract abundance.

But September almost passed me by completely, when another sister in the group did the project and shared a photo. Which of course reminded me how awful I am by not doing it yet.

I was in town near the craft store and I thought, “I AM GOING TO DO THIS!!!” Before I could talk myself out of it, I parked, walked in, and start looking. The materials only cost me $15, and I got sooooo very excited about making my abundance broom.

As I was driving home, I realized how these two things, my money memory and my lack of participating in the creative project/ritual, intersected. My spirituality is EXTRA. It requires RITUAL. It requires attention, care, inspiration, and sometimes it requires that I do things that I don’t NEED. Maybe you saw that coming from the beginning, but it was really like I was blind and now I could see.

My money mindset has always kept me from my spirituality. I always want to buy crystals, oils, pendulums, oracle cards, but never allow myself to because they are EXTRA, I don’t actually need them. But they are part of who I am.

I am a witch. Witchy accessories connect me to the divine. And I deserve that. I deserve to feel oneness with the divine. Sigh. Even writing that filled me with joy.

There is no inherent meaning to life. But the beauty of that is that each and every one of us are allowed to CREATE our own meaning. And I want one of the most meaningful aspects of my life to be MAGIC. If that means I have to be “extra,” then I will gladly be.

And as an aside, I ALWAYS buy the nail polish now 😉

So mote it be!

Until next time, beautiful lifers!


La Rae