I Don’t Want to Hustle Anymore

Someone once said “Hustle until you don’t have to anymore.” I can’t remember where I heard the quote or who said it, but it is something I forgot until I achieved my dream of working for myself.

I remembered that the life I was living isn’t the one I actually want to live.

The life you have to lead and who you have to be to achieve your dreams is absolutely necessary, however, it doesn’t have to be who you continue to be.

I called myself a Girl Boss. I hustled. I channeled Beyonce every moment I could.

It all seemed very glamorous on the outside, because our society worships being busy.

But.

I worked tirelessly.

I burned myself out.

I was bitchy to my husband, the person who loves me the most in the world. I neglected him, my responsibilities, and the people I love.

I gained soooooo much weight (as I have mentioned many times on this blog before, here, and here)

During all of this, when my hubby was feeling neglected and I would say “I’m doing this so that we can have freedom in the future!” I 100% believed it. And alas, it did get us there. But I had to actually REALIZE that I finally had everything I was working for. I took a step back and saw that we are living in a great house in a good area, we could afford healthy organic food, we had so many blessings. It wasn’t until this hit me that I could finally say, it’s time to really live this dream.

Yes, it was so hard. It was hard to keep going when things weren’t so fantastic. When I was so over it. When I thought it would be one of the reasons my marriage would end.

But, I’m here now. I have arrived at the goal I set out for myself.

What happens when you FINALLY reach the dream you’ve always had in your heart? Well, you can either replace it with a new dream and continue to participate in the rat race, OR you can appreciate what you have an re-evaluate your plan of action.

Which is what led me to finally working for myself full time.

One problem is that the hustling spirit doesn’t just go away, but in time, I hope to harness it correctly. I am learning my new patterns, which can only be done through the power of awareness and observation (my degree in Anthropology didn’t completely fail me!).

So now, I know 1 thing for sure: I no longer want to hustle in the same way I had hustled before. I didn’t become a full time entrepreneur to still be a slave to my laptop, to social media, to other people. I became a full time entrepreneur for freedom, spaciousness, alignment, joy, and grace. I am going to have to put things in place to make this really happen. Editing takes up almost ALL of my time. So I am considering how I can hire a maid or an assistant (or both!) so that I don’t have to waste my time cleaning and running errands. My time is best spent on creative and income-generating endeavors. Once I get things a little more ironed out, I think this could be a reality.

So today, I leave you with the assurance that if YOU are hustling for your dreams, and it doesn’t always feel so good, you CAN CHANGE. BUT you have to be willing to slow down and take a look at your priorities once you achieve your dreams.

Sending you so much love on your journey.

xoxo,

La Rae

Photo credits to (in order of appearance): Crystal Photography, Sally Kleiss Timmer Photography, Wild Soul Weddings (my company).

 

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