I have been waiting for the right words to come to me so that I can describe fully, truthfully, and hopefully about what 2016 has brought to me and my family. For about 6 months, words and knowledge has transferred into my brain at the most random times, but there has been a bit of silence since the beginning of November. Maybe the Universe knew I needed some time to process, but also, I desperately needed rest. When you learn and grow so much so fast, there are definitely growing pains. They needed to work themselves out.
So much came to me on Christmas Eve. So much. The words, the way I needed to say it, the truths that needed to be shared just flowed right out of my fingers onto the paper, as it has so many times this year.
I TRUST that whatever I share in this post will benefit those who read it, and whatever I may forget to include, well, that it was meant for me to know and share later.
This post may feel heavy, but I know that once I let it all out, I myself will feel light. Today, though, I do feel a sense of sadness. Sadness that so many people are experiencing the joy and happiness that I once felt or are experiencing new adventures that I so desperately want. But since my word for 2016 is trust, I trust that what is not happening right now is just as important as what is.
Zora Neal Hurston once wrote, some years have questions, and some years have answers. I thought this was a question year, BUT it’s actually an answer year. I have obviously learned TRUST, and I have probably beat that topic to death in this little blog, but I set out to learn it, and I did. Honestly, too, I have learned faith. Since I ended my affiliation with the Christian religion, the word faith has been something I’ve steered clear of, but faith goes hand in hand with trust; I wouldn’t say that they are interchangeable, but they are 100% related. Trust is a verb, faith is a noun.
2016 has been a year of trust, but it has also been a time of incubation. A year of destruction. A year of death. A year of rebirth. Kali has come into my life and completely burned everything to the ground so I can rise.
The practice that got me through the tough times was simply breathing and expanding into the uncertainly. When I got scared and felt myself contract, I made a conscious effort to expand and melt into that space. This, along with EFT (emotional freedom technique) aka “tapping,” is how I developed trust and strengthened my intuition.
All of these lessons have changed me completely. So, who am I now?
Who I have become is a woman who knows her worth, isn’t scared to take chances, who deeply knows and loves herself, but still wants to feel taken care of. A woman who has a deep understanding of her heart, mind, and inner knowing. A woman with a connection to the Universe. A woman that can see opportunity and seize it. A woman that can nurture relationships and people so much that they can see the potential in themselves, the goddess in themselves, the lionness in themselves. I have also become a woman who knows her limits and dislikes and knows when to bring in help when needed.
I’m still not ready to give up my word for 2017 because I have a little bit more to share before then.
So until then, I’ll talk to you later.