Getting photos taken is a scary time for fat girls like me. On one hand, we are soooo excited to buy new clothes and dream of locations. On the other hand, we know we are fat, and so we’re scared of putting ourselves out there for the world to see.
That’s kind of how I felt getting ready for new website photos, which I had taken last night.
There is so much excitement knowing that the environment and lighting is perfect…then, there’s me, a big fat blob, smack dab in the middle of it. I get so scared sometimes about what people think when they see me…”Oh wow, she really gained a lot of weight,”….”Oh wow I feel so sorry for her husband! She has really gotten fat,”…..”She is so fat.”
Really, it’s very scary to me to think.
BUT I don’t let that stop me anymore.
Being fat doesn’t mean that I’m less worthy.
Being fat doesn’t mean I should hide.
Being fat doesn’t mean I should give up on my dreams.
See, I know that this is a temporary stop in my life. I won’t always have this much fat on me, and I am a work in progress. Now that I am investing 100% of my energy in ME, I KNOW that I will lose the weight.
I also don’t want you to think that I am glorifying being a big girl. I’m not. I know that added fat on my body is TERRIBLE for my health. But that doesn’t mean that at times in our lives, we won’t have more weight/fat than other times. There is an ebb and a flow to everything, including the size of our bodies.
I wanted to talk about this issue because I was triggered by how I look and knowing that it’s scary to be seen, especially when you aren’t happy with yourself. But that is no reason to remain hidden.
Rise. Be seen. Your voice, story, and experience makes a difference in the world.
Photo by Jenni Chung Photography 2016